Yo dont text me then not text me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
