I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
