could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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