he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
