i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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