Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I looked at my own cervix.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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