They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
