I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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