I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
