the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
