I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize