Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
