You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
