as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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