And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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