pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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