Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
