So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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