my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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