did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
