Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
