Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
