i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
