I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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