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You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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