walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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