so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
