No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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