How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
