At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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