I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
