ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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