the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
