he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
