rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
