We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
