Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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