don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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