Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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