I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
