you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize