worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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