wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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