There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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