We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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