You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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