mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
