I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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