Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
