I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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