Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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