UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So vagazzling was a success
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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