If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
