i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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