areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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