I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This gyro tastes like lonliness
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
