He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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