We're facebook friends in real life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize