i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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