she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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